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I love you more than a marshmallow

“Momma, I actually love you more than a marshmallow.”

This was what Kaden said to me as he got into his pajamas and gave me a big hug last night. This expression pretty much sums up my night last night. A chaotic night over a marshmallow. However, once again God used Kaden to show me my own lessons that I also struggle with in my life and my relationship with Him.

Kaden is a picky eater. Okay, that may be an understatement. In fact last month we told him that his four favorite meals were off limits. That he had to learn to try other foods and eat different things. He has done better but it’s still a constant battle.

Tonight he wanted dessert after dinner. He wanted a jumbo marshmallow. (Isn’t that what everyone selects for dessert???) After the rest of us were finished he still hasn’t eaten that much and had entered the negotiation stage. The can I get it down from eating everything to a certain number of bites stage. After another long while of battling and it getting closer to time for him to have to leave for basketball practice, we finally told him no marshmallow.

This was followed by tears and a very upset little boy. He got dressed for practice and I tried to talk to him before he left. Out of his frustration and anger he told me, “I love you. But I want a marshmallow more than I love you.”

He said it to show me just how badly he wanted a marshmallow. That momma knew how much he loved me that it would prove how great his desire. Of course with my tender hearted boy he was apologizing, afraid he hurt my feelings, and giving me kisses almost as soon as it was out of his mouth. But after he and his daddy left for practice it made me think that me and my Heavenly Father have had very similar chats. As I’ve said before my biggest issues are my need to control and that I think I know best. Often I’m like my six year old, “I love you. But I want my ideas/plans for my life more.”

Kaden was processing some big emotions. His feelings about how we want him to eat certain foods that he doesn’t want, but knows he knows he should and that it’s for his own good. Coupled with processing the feelings of wanting something so bad but not being able to have it. Yep kid, been there, done that. I, too, knows my fathers plans are for the best, but it can be so hard to lay down the feelings of wanting something but it not meant to be.

I can write, read, and recite verses (and I do) like Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” This can be a hard one and one that is easier said than done. This is difficult to take to heart when I think; Lord, I trust you, but can we revisit my script and rough draft? I think you may have gotten the wrong cast for this script. Every day is a daily reminder to let go of my sense of control and ideas and to trust in Him.

That I can take comfort in my knowledge he loves me so much that even when I might cry or become upset he is there with his arms open for me to come running and say, “Lord, I love you more than a marshmallow.”

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